"How Deep it Goes" by Heart

The overall effect of MS is that it makes me slow.  I don't have good control of my fingers, so far too often I hit the wrong keys.  Sometimes over and over and over.  I think slow.  I forget what I'm doing.  I get confused about what I'm doing.

So I've realized I'm never going to catch up on all the blog posts I started and haven't finished (as of the moment I'm writing this there are 54 draft posts).

So I've decided to just post them irght now, without photos or comments and just one link to a video and maybe someday, somehow I will find to add photos, comments and finish them.  But for now...

#DraftPost


Trans Day of Visibility
My anniversary of going full-time as a woman

Playing this album this morning, forgot about this songs

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwbNSSyQex8
YouTube (lyrics): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGxl6cuHBdM
YouTube (Topic): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFt5gvlN-YI

"Where Evil Grows" by The Poppy Family

The Penis Tower where evil grows in Utah

Update 12-Apr-2018:  I hate it when I have a plan and and then I forget what it was.  Anyway, my original plan for this post was to say, the building where evil grows in Utah is in the giant phallic symbol above.

I know absolutely that they are killing our youth with their LGBTQ hate speech!  As Talia said at the Rock-n-Roll Camp for Girls Showcase last summer: "Teen suicide is an epidemic in Utah".  And those bastards in this tower are definitely part of the problem!

Ooh, (waving arm) I know, I know, I know!!  President Spanky's administration!  The Evangelical Right!  The Alt Right!  To name but a few!

I love this Stephen Colbert "Trump Has A New Nickname In Washington" clip:

YouTube (LateNight): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLSdfiVJ8r0

I especially love the line about "Spanky" being a wonderful thing, "maybe the best news I've heard all day"!  LOL

Anyway, this is a fun song:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLYO9Flbf14
YouTube (vinyl): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MirI6GQJGM
YouTube (live TV): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfeEcCLMtxk

"A Certain Someone" by The Sundays

I've been watching the Amazon Prime series "Mozart in the Jungle" and just saw an episode titled "Nothing Resonates like Rhinoceros Foreskin".  That's a funny title although I abhor harming animals in any way.  The reason I became vegetarian.

But it made me think of my favorite title of an episode ever: "The Smart Money is on the Skinny Bitch".  (See my post for 31-May-2017)

Anyway, I was sending a message to a group on Facebook and I referred to my friend that I had date with as "a certain someone" and it reminded me of this song.

I've decided to experiment and see if I can monetize my blog so here is a link to purchase the MP3 on Amazon:



The usual YouTube links:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DKh7cZRNnQ
YouTube (lyrics): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tQUN29k1rI
YouTube (live 1990): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1vcZcTQhXc
YouTube (live 1993): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5Yz85_6fro
YouTube (Topic): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG9fR5Np6v8

"Fixing a Hole" by The Beatles

This morning I was wishing my mind would wander, instead of not going over and over and over the same shit.

As usual the original Beatles song doesn't seem to be anywhere on YouTube.  The Beatles stuff has always been fanatically protected.  Like Beatles albums were never available from record clubs.

YouTube (The Beats): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-s4OLFNyYQ
YouTube (Rangzen): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAK9oy_2ch0
YouTube (Take 1): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J935rPVu7UE
YouTube (Paul): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOmJqNsFr_M

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Update 1-Sep-2018: found a clip with a great joke:

Speaking of holes, I loved the line in this Stephen Colbert monologue  "Wait, you have to do this?  Does he think acting like a buffoon is mandatory?  Is this some sort of "Speed" situation, where somebody strapped a bomb to the country and if the Presidents IQ goes above 55 the country explodes?".   Hahaha but we don't need to worry about that ever happening...

YouTube (Late Night): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTLLNFBgokw
YouTube (joke start): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTLLNFBgokw&t=5m12s

"I'm a Fool to Care" by Les Paul and Mary Ford

Me at Jitter Bug Coffee Hop - 1855 S. 700 E. Salt Lake City

Lily parked in front of Jitter Bug

I stop by Jitter Bug Coffee Hop all the time for coffee.  Once in a while I allow myself a pastry.  Had a sandwich with my friend Sherri there a couple of weeks ago, it was nice!

Original Sheet Music for "I'm a Fool to Care"

This is the first song I ever worked on with my voice coach, Mindy Pack.  That day literally changed my life.  I never, ever believed I would be able to sing, but in one session Mindy showed me different.  And Mindy has always been so supportive and amazing ever since.

Mindy's website: http://www.mindypack.com/

Anyway, I've always loved this song and since 2015 it has had very special meaning for me!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1MJsXDLnEY
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT7D5lz7Fyo
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzjINqyets8

"1984" by Spirit

The Best of Spirit front of cover and Side 1 of Epic issue

The Best of Spirit back of cover and Side 2 of Epic issue

I woke up this morning, Mariah was crying because she didn't want to go to school.  I opened the kitchen blinds and could hardly see out for all the snow on the tree branches and I thought sarcastically "It's another beautiful day in the neighborhood".

But then I thought to myself: "NO!  It *IS* ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!".  And it WILL BE a good day, DAMMIT!!

I was feeling pretty good after that.  Then a few minutes after SueZQ left to take Mariah to school, she called to tell me the fuel light was blinking in the Prius and she thought she had enough to get Mariah to school but was not sure she had enough gas to make it back home.  I told her I would meet her out at the Costco by Valley Fair Mall.

I threw some clothes on, went out and Lily (the Trans-mobile) was covered in snow of course and some of it had turned to ice on the windows.  I went out and got on I-215 and it was basically a parking lot.  Stop and go about 5 MPH.  I decided screw that, I'll go out to Bangerter, it was moving mostly okay Southbound so I was at least making progress.

I got to Costco and started SueZQ filling up the Prius.  There was some dude in a pickup truck filling up adjacent to her that was giving me the evil eye.  After he left I asked SueZQ about it and she said she saw him too.

After I filled Lily up I had to go to the credit union to put some cash in our account because I was worried there wasn't enough money in our account to cover the gas if some bills went through.  I felt like I kinda freaked the teller out.  I'm never sure if it was my being trans or maybe she was just new?  I was not feeling the good vibe in West Valley City this morning for sure.

But it did cheer me up some when I stopped for some ducks crossing the road and there were some kids running around playing in the snow.

I stopped to let these ducks cross the road

But I was feeling kinda down again when I got home.  I went back to bed for a while because I was feeling shitty again.  This  afternoon I got up and went downtown to pick up some items at Trader Joe's and Natural Grocers.  I saw several of my friends at both places and they lifted me up and I was feeling really good again.

In thinking about the "Wrinkle in Time" movie yesterday I started thinking about how much I've struggled since last November.  I started thinking about the similarity between the battle between light and darkness in the movie and how I've battled the last several months.

So I think this song is relevant today for two different reasons: one of course is this current (Trump) administration being fascist and, two the line: "he's going to tell you the darkness gives you much more than you get from the light".

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxlhToVMfbQ
YouTube (live TV): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtzS93HDQeE
YouTube (live TV 1970): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqG0BXWPJzs

"Afterhours (Charlie Hype Desi Remix)" by TroiBoi

Screenshots of official website for Signature Move film.

I finished watching the (lesbian) film "Signature Move" last night and I really enjoyed, loved it!

Official website: http://www.signaturemovemovie.com/

The "About" description from the website:

A new romance with Alma forces Zaynab to confront her relationship with her recently widowed mother who escapes to TV dramas and finding her daughter a husband. In this coming-of-age Muslim melodrama, Zaynab copes by taking up Lucha-style wrestling.

Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signature_Move

I thought the summary from Wikipedia was a better description:

Zaynab (Fawzia Mirza), a thirty-something Pakistani, Muslim, lesbian in Chicago takes care of her TV-obsessed mother Parveen (Shabana Azmi). As Zaynab falls for Alma (Sari Sanchez), a bold and very bright Mexican woman, she searches for her identity in life, love and wrestling.

#LesbianMovie
#LesbianFilm

Anyway, this song played over the end credits and I love it!!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4914qaYOGV8

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I went and saw the "Wrinkle in Time" movie with Black Lives Matter this afternoon.  It was a delightful experience until I used the ladies room after the film.

It's kind of funny, I suppose, that when I say I had something nasty happen in the Women's Rest Room that the first thought is that it was someone freaking out over a transgender person in the "wrong" rest room.

But in this case it had nothing to do with my being transgender.  It had to do with my MS and the worsening symptoms.  I finished using the toilet and pulled up my panties and nylons.  I put on my coat (in was cold and snowing outside), but when I lifted my arms to put my purse strap over my shoulder I felt something odd.

I feel really humiliated posting this photo.  I certainly didn't have any thought of posting it at the time I took it.  It was more to have a record of the event.

But it is my reality.  MS has pretty much affected every single thing about me.  I don't really have good control of anything anymore.

Humiliating MS effect in the Ladie's Room at the theater